Would you rather be a friar or a rabbi?

This question circulated the lunch room at CBC during coffee break. I thought it was brilliant.

Ron Penner, CBC President: Would you rather by a friar or a rabbi?

Cira: Due to my recent study of Thomas Merton and Catholicism in general, my immediate response to this question was to choose friar. Although Merton was a monk and not a friar, his writings demonstrate how a life devoted to celibacy and poverty lead to profound spiritual enrichment and intimacy with God. However, I'm not sure I'm cut out for adherence to the strict asceticism of the friar life. In fact, I think I am better suited to assume the responsibilities of a rabbi. I think I would make a good teacher/spiritual director, and my psychology background would lend itself to these tasks. Plus, if I were a rabbi, I could devote myself to the study of the Torah and would get to learn Hebrew!

Robin: Cira, let's be real here. There are two HUGE reasons that friar is where it's at.

REASON ONE: LANGUAGE
Hebrew is a very Mathematical language. I'm not sure or brains would lend themselves to such a language easily. Did you know that Hebrew is written from right to left? Think of the endless handwashing required to keep up with the ink stains as you copy the text! And the verb "to be" does not exist in Hebrew in present tense. Imagine the existential crisis that would ensue if you started thinking of yourself in Hebrew - our Western minds need present identities.

Then you must reflect on the happy life of the friar, reading and writing text in Latin. How blissful to the Indo-European descendent, to read a language in a recognizable alphabet. English is so similar to Latin. It's syntax, grammar, phonemes, all comfortingly familiar. And let's not forget, that once trained in Latin, Ovid's Metamorphosis in its original language could offer a much needed break from the duties of the friar.

REASON TWO: WARDROBE
Google rabbi. What do you see? Men in crazy hats with suits and rad beards. We both know how challenging it can be to look good in hats. The beauty of one's face can easily be transformed into the grotesque by the incorrect hat shape. And beards....well, I'm sure that I could grow something on my face, I'm just not sure how beardlike it would be. And as for the suits. Tailored clothing can be so unforgiving if you gain a few pounds, which leads me to...

Google friar. What do you see? Smiling fat men in brown robes with outstretched welcoming arms. The robe is a very forgiving article of clothing. It comes in a variety of neutral shades and can be belted to accentuate the waist. For the same reason we love dresses, we can now also love the robe.


The answer is clear. I want to ring bells, sweep cloisters, collect alms for the poor, wear a forgiving wardrobe, practice my Latin, follow the liturgical calendar and sprinkle babies with Holy Water. It's disciplined, comfortable and fashionable, yup, friar life is for me.