Would you rather have a peg leg or no ears?

Robin: Cira, would you rather have a peg leg or no ears?

Cira: I think I would have to go with peg leg for a several reasons. First of all, a peg leg demands attention! There's a great story behind every peg leg...and people would demand to hear my story! (Imagine that much time spent in the limelight!). Yah, yah, yah, I know what you're thinking: "Cira, what if you were simply born without a leg? That's not a very interesting story." My response: "Who cares!" I would make up a crazy story about being shipwrecked at sea and losing my leg to a shark. ...I'd really be a much more interesting person if I had a peg leg. Plus, peg legs demand public sympathy...and are perhaps even a little bit sexy?

To be without ears, on the other hand, would be miserable. Aside from being deprived of experiencing all sound, what would I do if my hair were to fly into my face? Without ears I would have nothing to tuck it behind!!...Oh, and flashback from anatomy of physiology: ears are responsible for maintaining equilibrium! Without ears I would have no balance! I'd probably fall so many times that eventually one of my legs would require amputation. Then I would be sans ears and a leg! I rest my case: I would choose a peg leg over no ears any day!


Robin: Okay, I should have been more specific. "No ears" means no fleshy part outside your head. Your capacity to hear and balance are affected by this, but not eliminated entirely.

So, I have to disagree with your choice. Think about how difficult it would be to shop for shoes for your peg leg. Now, I don't know about you, but I get far more compliments on my shoes than on my ears. I'm not exactly willing to give up that kind of attention. It's easy for you to give up one foot (preferably the dinosaur one), but I own over 100 pairs of shoes. I can't let my loved ones go to waste.

As a Flooring Service Manager, it's difficult for me to even imagine the damage a peg leg would do to flooring. Everywhere you go you'd leave dents in laminate, hardwood, cork... As a guest in someone's home, that's very inconsiderate - your social life would come to a tragic end. You'd be limited to just carpet and tile in your home. That means vacuuming and grout scrubbing all the time. Have you ever tried kneeling on a peg leg to scrub grout? Didn't think so. My dream floor is a cork floor....I'm not going to give up on my dreams for a romantic shipwreck story.

If you haven't noticed, I wear the same earrings almost every day. My ears are not something that I give much aesthetic attention to. And have you seen how flattering those face framing haircuts are? If you ask me, no ears is a great reason to have fabulous footwear and gorgeous hair....I believe they call that a win-win situation.

Cira: How do I even begin to respond to your last post? I think it would have been helpful to have known that no ears does not imply loss of hearing and balance. But regardless, my choice remains unaltered.

Although shoe shopping is undoubtedly a favorite past time of mine, unlike yours, my love for shoes does not border on obsession. Due to the misalignment of my spinal vertebrae, I already have trouble finding shoes in which I can walk comfortably. Having a peg leg would give me an excuse to evade shoe shopping almost entirely.

Yes, you are a flooring manager, but if I understand correctly, you are not planning on working in the flooring industry for that much longer. However, even if you were to remain in the industry, no one in their right mind would make you do intense physical labour with a peg leg. Also, I'm sure a little cushion on the bottom of the peg could prevent you from damaging any kind of floor, even cork. I don't think it's safe to say that your dreams or your social life would meet their demise.

I think it's time we bring this debate to a close. I think we are both too obstinate to change our answers on this one. Ultimately, I think no ears would be the way to go in your case. You simply enjoy shoes too much. As for me, I want to continue to enjoy the luxury of being able to put my hair up in a ponytail with out looking like an alien, and I still think a peg leg exudes a certain amount of sex appeal.