Would you rather marry rich or marry smart?

Robin: Would you rather marry a man who far surpasses you in intellect and education (and be poor) or marry a man who far surpasses you in income (but isn't much for cognitive stimulation)? In both cases the man in question is NOT a commercial pilot!

Cira:

Okay, I’ll put my dreams of marrying a pilot aside in order to answer this doozey of a question. But to all you pilots out there: I’m single and available…and I want your travel benefits!!!!

To marry rich, or to marry smart—that is the question.

To marry smart:

"There can be no disparity in marriage like unsuitability of mind and purpose." Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

First off, I think we need to specify the kind of intelligence we are dealing with here. It is very rare to find someone who possesses academic smarts as well as other types of intelligence, such as social and emotional, or other practical forms of intelligence, such as financial. I suspect this hypothetically well-educated intellect is someone of high academic intelligence, someone who might typically be classified as a “nerd”. Provided that this is the case, I can list many obvious benefits to marrying someone of such mental acuity. First, I’d receive free, one-on-one education in various subjects, including quantum physics, astronomy, Latin and Greek, computer sciences, etc. Let’s face it: I’d never have to go back to school again! Goodbye student loans!

However, since by agreeing to marry smart, I’d be agreeing to a life of poverty, I think it is safe to assume Mr. Smarts is a dunce when it comes to financial matters, and is therefore lacking other important forms of intelligence as well. I would find it miserable to be married to someone I couldn’t relate to on an intimate emotional level. Plus, our conversational life would probably suffer due to our unequal levels of intelligence. The cons of this marriage would definitely outweigh the pros.

To marry rich:

“There is no road to wealth so easy and respectable as that of matrimony . . .” Anthony Trollope, Doctor Thorne

"I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it." Charles Dickens, Our Mutual Friend

I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. I would choose to marry the boring rich man. Yes, I know this may come as a shock to you, but hear me out. While he’d be off making his millions, I’d have ample time to indulge in the finer things in life. On any given day, you would find me gallivanting at galleries and museums, having lunch with the New York Times’ latest best-selling novelist, writing my own best-selling novel, flying to far-off destinations on my private jet, and making friends with the world’s most inspirational geniuses! Pff, who needs a smart husband when you have money! Basically, I’d see all of my relational needs met by the friends I would make. (And if I felt so inclined, I would also take a lover to see my romantic needs met as well. My rich husband would be too busy to notice.)

Robin:

Dear Cira,

When it comes to romantic tastes, one simply cannot judge the preferences of another. Though I frown upon a marriage based in materialism, I cannot help but see your choice as clearly beneficial to the both of us.

First, I will no doubt be the benefactor of your wealth. A few weeks of living with Mr. Dullsville and you will be dying for our spiritual/philosophical discussions. In fact, I’m sure to find you begging at my door as soon as the honeymoon ends, Chanel, Hermes and Lanvin piled in your arms as offerings for my meaningful friendship.

Second, you are a beautiful and bright female specimen, a worthy opponent on Love’s Battlefield. Nothing damages a female friendship like competition for male resources. Such competition is far to base for our relationship. If we are turning our romantic attentions in different directions within the dating pool, then we are free to concentrate our aggression towards each other in purely intellectual pursuits.

Now...for me and my hypothetical love life...

I’m going to have to take a classical stance on this particular issue. To run from a greater intellectual opponent is cowardly. Like Achilles of Homer’s great text, The Iliad, I would prefer to take a heroic stance in the face of a competitor. As Homer suggests, the noblest way to die is on your feet with a spear in your chest, for any other way would show that you ran or flinched as your opponent let his weapon fly.

Now, I do not mean to brag, but I know that my investment in education has moved me into the upper ranks of wit and intelligence. Though my future husband may be far superior in intellect, this does not mean that I am greatly lacking. I may, in fact, be as close to a worthy cognitive competitor as such a man could find.

As followers of literary history, we know that an intuitive reader expects the most witty of characters in a text to marry one another. During the Renaissance, Shakespeare provided us with such an example in Much Ado About Nothing. Even within the first act, an intuitive reader can predict that intellectual adversaries Beatrice and Benedick will fall in love. Later, in the neoclassical period, Congreve’s The Way of the World gives us similar love-doomed opponents, Mirabell and Millamant. In both couples the wit of both partners is not equally matched; rather, the superior wit must settle for the next best thing. In the case of our hypothetical matchmaking, I will be the next best thing.

So...as you swim in your giant pool of money (Scrooge McDuck style), I’ll be repeatedly stabbed in the chest by my husband’s barbs of wit. Wedded bliss, here I come!